After a very, very long time (having lived ‘happily ever after’ and with no wish to pursue anything whatsoever) I have posted on my blog. Thanks to a lady called Manisha who left a message saying she’d started following my blog only to discover that I was no longer actively posting! I felt as though my conscience was speaking to me.
Out of the blue a stranger comes and gives me a little nudge. That’s all I needed (Thank you Manisha!). And it is interesting how someone you’ve never met or spoken with can have such an impact: make you move forward!
For a split second, Maya’s veil lifts up to let in the light of Truth. It dawns that there is no stranger. That someone somewhere is listening, even prompting me to move ahead, keen to hear what this wisp of cotton longs to share.
Somewhere in my little journey of nothingness there is a friendly pat, as if to say, “Come on, come on, move along. I’m with you. No dallying here in a dried up well.” At that moment I awake as if from a deep slumber.
For me the activity of writing is as crucial as breathing. Apparently I may not write, but the writing continues all the same. My nerve endings carry flashes of insights. Invisible to eyes, the writing flourishes underground. In a subterranean realm the rivers and tributaries all continue their flow. They know where they are going, although I may be left in the dark.
But the obvious, apparent activity, of tangible thought and touch, of keying words on a pad, is what keeps me alive and ticking. This smudge of an activity keeps me interested in life and awakens a sensitivity towards events unfolding around me, deepening a keenness to make sense of that which is beyond meaning perhaps.
Or else, what is there to hold onto? Life passes by in a blink. Everything is so dreamlike, so wispy. Pale cotton candy… gone in a second! What have I learned after all these years of living?
Quite a bit, I will say. Although easily condensible into a few short sentences. And of course, the learning continues!
I have discovered, for one, that nothing is more precious than my own company; not even the company of saints, which is precious because saints take you back to your source, back to who you are! In other words: Back to your own company!
Yet, beyond one’s own company, more precious are those moments, however fleeting or unplanned they may be, of rejoicing in the memory of God. And this could happen in sudden snaps, when one is singing in one’s bath or looking up at the immense stretch of sky and exulting in its beauty, when one is overwhelmed by that sudden connectedness with God.
I feel those are the only moments that makes one’s life worthy of living. Basking in God’s glories and allowing every fibre of one’s being to be charged with divine love!
It is in those moments that this cotton wisp with no fixed agenda, ‘nowhere to go and nothing to do’ gets transformed , is placed among the living gods and begins to vibrate an ever joyful light. Now, that is something worth living for! Greatest than all gifts is the gift of loving God.