The colours of life are mine to choose. I select lilac, soothing to the eye, its fragrance – delicately sweet. For me pale violet, soft lilac – opens into a space that is both familiar and fresh, one that is balanced by the scales of the known and unknown.
Its fragrant softness awakens the artist in me, brings forth the poet and philosopher; blurs boundaries between real and unreal.
There is this delicious sense of excitement in walking a path that is my own. A path full of love, ever luring me with its vibrant song, a path that is under my skin and in the very fibre of my being, a path I know as my own yet know nothing of, a path strewn with surprises, gifts and radiant joy.
When I’m in the Ashram I know I own the sky and earth. And everything is mine! The greatest gifts in life come for free…I’m intoxicated by the beauty of this place and the gallons of distilled air my joyful lungs drink everyday!
I have returned to my ritual of seeing the sun off in the evenings as it fades out in the horizon, its dazzle dimming as it sinks into empty space, reminding me of death and the end of all things. As it disappears my mind quiets down and simply lets go with the realization that one chapter, one day has come to an end.
Evenings mark a time for surrender and thanksgiving. I sing the Guru puja and yet I feeI I am a mere witness as the richly rendered shlokas roll off my tongue…Is it me singing or some ancient soul singing through me? Guru puja is followed by Sandhya vandanam…my twigs are ready, my coiled Rudraksha mala awaits me. And then for a chunk of time I’m gone…I don’t know where and when and how it happened. That’s the power of the mantra…the Gayatri mantra…and at some point my hands drop and body consciousness is lost.
This is magic. I’ve no other word for it! All I do is follow a very simple process and the meditation that follows just blows the mind away…when I return to wakefulness I find myself coming from a calm and joyful space, confident and centred.
I’m reminded of my favourite Hanumanji’s flowers (Crown or Akanda flowers) that appear like bits of architectural wonder…their ridges forming arches, their fleshy leaves a dusty green. Spiritual practice makes you emotionally sturdy and mentally strong. Through steady practice you realize you are no longer the one you knew before, the one who got easily shaken by small setbacks. I too, like that beautiful white and lilac flower am one of God’s wonders! Something to look into and ponder about…